Essay #1
Student LLLL did wrote a fine essay. LLLL used a myriad of quotes to back up his points, more than I would have remembered for the AP exam. The quotes were not just there to be quotes. They added depth to LLLL' analysis. Each paragraph had one to help LLLL's points. LLLL summarized the plot but only to get his points across. It brought some out some less-thought off analysis of The Great Gatsby. LLLL went off the beaten path. The thesis paragraph is concise and well-written, however, I would have rather have more sentences instead of one short and one long, almost run on, sentence. LLLL lays out his supporting points very clearly, just by listing the three. I like this. It makes it easier to know exactly what the writer is trying to say. Lastly, LLLL brings in evidence that supports the points not only from the text, but also from the time period.
Essay #2
The thesis paragraph has valid points, but it drags on for too long. A thesis paragraph should be concise and get to the point. The title of the play, King Lear, is not even used, except to describe the King Lear as a person. William Shakespeare is not named either. However, the thesis statement at the end is good. I have no problems with the way it was written, other than maybe it is a little wordy. The conclusion shares some of the same problems of the thesis paragraph, it is too lengthy. It should just say what it needs to say, and then stop. Also, the first paragraph has a little too much summarization in it. For someone who has not read King Lear, this is appreciated, except that I should not even be reading this analysis unless I have read King Lear. AP graders may not want as much summarization of the plot.
Essay #3
Student FF does a lot of Student C did. They both summarized the plot a little too much. The thesis paragraph is the opposite of Student C's however. It shoves the reader into a plot summarization without very much about how McMurphy is a tragic hero. It just defines tragic hero. The paragraphs do not have much semblance of arguments for the plot, it just summarizes. A majority of the paragraphs just summarize the plot and then say very little about how McMurphy is a tragic hero. The essay is saying that McMurphy is a tragic hero because others got hurt along the way, but does go beyond that. That is also the only argument. With only one support, an essay like this could have many holes. Student FF has one point tacked on the end, the part with the narrator, haphazardly. It's like the writer forgot to add on a point, but only had five minutes to add it.
How do you critique a critique??
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that you did a great job on this post, however who am I to judge? I honestly know nothing about this, and the work I did on the same prompt really doesn't help me all that much in this category. So I'm gonna go with a thumbs up on this one...
I would like to suggest refraining from comparing and contrasting the essays within the individual reviews. I think they were supposed to be read and criticized separately.
Hey Nick,
ReplyDeleteI like your responses to these essays and did every one do 2003 except me. Oh well, it just means less reading for me. I like how in your response to essay 1 you mentioned how they had all of those quotes because I found that extremely impressive when I was reading. I was like I would never be able to remember all of that. I also had liked how she compared the Great Gatsby to the times and how they were interconnected. I also agree with that both essay 2 and 3 could have cut down on a lot of the plot summary. And yah, the third persons essay could have had a lot more analysis. It said little about McMurphy as a tragic hero and didn’t exactly answer the prompt very well. Overall I think you did a really good and I agree with most of what you’ve said.
Hup Hup Hup Hip Hip Ho,
ReplyDeleteHow does it go?
Idk just a little poem I wrote 4 u.
Thanks for doing 2003 you make my life so much less stressful. Since we did the same ones I see a few similar ideas. Great minds think alike? I think your first evaluation was the most thorough one. Quotes etc are important to notice as it shows familiarity with the works.