Student N
This student's intro is a little longer than I would have liked. However, it works well because Student N is thorough throughout. The writer lays out exactly what they are writing a they hope to answer in their thesis paragraph. I personally think that this writer had a fully developed argument, and that this essay was sufficient to get a 9, but I'm no AP grader.
Student J
The AP graders said that Student J's writing was too reliant on the plot, and I would agree. The entire essay built off of its own plot summary. The essay was more of a summary than anything else. I have not read Huckleberry Finn, but I did not need to to fully understand this essay. All summary aside, the writer made some valid points.
Student U
The first sentence made me not want to read the essay. It was bad. I may not be the best writer, but even I know not to write a lead like that. The thesis paragraph never ends too. If the reader cannot be grabbed by an intro, the writer has ultimately failed. Plot summary is prevalent as well, but not too much, only because there is not much to this essay. This essay seems half formed.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
The play begins with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern flipping coins. The coins continue to land heads. Rosencrantz wins everywhere it lands heads. They run into the actors from Hamlet on their way to Elsinore. They find out that the actors have become prostitutes. The actors and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern have a bet. There, the actors pack up and leave. The coin is revealed to be tails. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are suddenly thrown into a scene in Hamlet where Hamlet is chasing Ophelia, who abruptly. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern meet with Claudius and my main squeeze Gertrude. They are tasked with figuring out what ails Hamlet. They then pretend to be Hamlet to find a good approach to find out what is bothering him. They meet with Hamlet, but discern nothing of value. The players return, and perform the play Hamlet wanted them to perform. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern try to trap Hamlet when they find out that he killed Polonius. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern then tell Hamlet that they have to escort Hamlet to England. It then cuts to them on a boat. They see Hamlet sleeping by them. They open up their orders from the king and find out that Hamlet will be executed in England. Then, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern fall asleep Hamlet switches out the letter with a letter ordering the king of England to execute Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. The tragedians from earlier pop out of some barrels on deck just as the pirates attack the ship. Everyone jumps into a barrel and the tragedians and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern pop out afterwards, without Hamlet or the pirates. When they realize that Hamlet is no longer with them the Guildenstern says, "We've travelled too far, and our momentum has taken over; we move idly towards eternity, without possibility of reprieve or hope of explanation." (121). To this, Rosencrantz responds, "Be happy - if you're not even happy about surviving? We'll be alright. I suppose we just go on." (121). Here, the pair realize they have no point without Hamlet. The tragedians then talk about different forms of death, and they all perform them. The disappear, leaving Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to contemplate their fate. Then, there is a cut revealing the end of Hamlet where everyone has died.
Sixth hour's theme statement was, the way we perceive our circumstances affects the way we perceive our free will. This plagues Rosencrantz and Guildenstern throughout the play. They are constantly trying to push the boundaries of their free will, like trying to climb out of the set, and by breaking the fourth wall. They never succeed because they are not fully aware of their entrapment. Also, when Rosencrantz giving his box monologue. He believes that living in a box would be worse than living at all. He believes that he is not living in a box, even though he is. We as the audience see that he is enclosed in a box, the stage. He is just not aware of this. He believes that he has complete free will, while we know he does not.
Sixth hour's theme statement was, the way we perceive our circumstances affects the way we perceive our free will. This plagues Rosencrantz and Guildenstern throughout the play. They are constantly trying to push the boundaries of their free will, like trying to climb out of the set, and by breaking the fourth wall. They never succeed because they are not fully aware of their entrapment. Also, when Rosencrantz giving his box monologue. He believes that living in a box would be worse than living at all. He believes that he is not living in a box, even though he is. We as the audience see that he is enclosed in a box, the stage. He is just not aware of this. He believes that he has complete free will, while we know he does not.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Response to Course Materials
Thanks to breaks, snow days and finals wrapping up, this month was pretty short. We read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard. I enjoyed this piece, although I couldn't tell you why. Maybe it had to do with its self-aware humor. Maybe it was its like-able, relatable leads. Or maybe the layers of control present. Whatever it was, I loved it.
Our class began working on our theme statement. We knew we had to include control, split personalities between Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and the cyclical nature of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
This month has been a little low on events. Hopefully next month we won't have a ton of breaks and snow days to stop us.
Our class began working on our theme statement. We knew we had to include control, split personalities between Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and the cyclical nature of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
This month has been a little low on events. Hopefully next month we won't have a ton of breaks and snow days to stop us.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Open Prompt 2: 1970a
In Edward Albee's The American Dream, a parallel society is present in our society's stead. In this society, desire for power, materialism and selfishness are emphasized. This causes Grandma to leave and kill the problem.
Power is emphasized by characters like Mommy. She is the dominant figure in the household, compared to the stereotypical male-lead American household. This is because she forces Daddy to get a sex change so she can assert her dominance. She wants more and more power causing Grandma, who represents the old world ideals of pulling oneself up by their own bootstraps, to leave hire the Young Man to kill Mommy and Daddy. Mommy tries to control Grandma, but this causes Grandma to hide her belongings and eventually leave.
Materialism forces Grandma to leave and kill Mommy and Daddy. Mommy and her desire for more goods is present from birth. Grandma talks about how Mommy only cared about the outside of the way Grandma packed her lunches. She would not even open her lunch because it would ruin its shape. She did not look deeper. This is why she cannot find Grandma's stuff when she hides it. Grandma leaves because of this materialism.
Lastly, selfishness causes Grandma to leave. No one in the family cares for each other. Daddy is a puppet of Mommy, and Mommy takes everything that she can. She taunts the characters like Daddy, and cannot even be bothered to remember Ms. Barker's name. Grandma does not jive well with this and gets the Young Man to kill Mommy and Daddy so she does not have to deal with it anymore.
Desire for power, materialism and selfishness cause Grandma to leave the society created by the likes of Mommy and Daddy. The American Dream's society is so unlike the old one, that Grandma leaves, and purges the household.
Power is emphasized by characters like Mommy. She is the dominant figure in the household, compared to the stereotypical male-lead American household. This is because she forces Daddy to get a sex change so she can assert her dominance. She wants more and more power causing Grandma, who represents the old world ideals of pulling oneself up by their own bootstraps, to leave hire the Young Man to kill Mommy and Daddy. Mommy tries to control Grandma, but this causes Grandma to hide her belongings and eventually leave.
Materialism forces Grandma to leave and kill Mommy and Daddy. Mommy and her desire for more goods is present from birth. Grandma talks about how Mommy only cared about the outside of the way Grandma packed her lunches. She would not even open her lunch because it would ruin its shape. She did not look deeper. This is why she cannot find Grandma's stuff when she hides it. Grandma leaves because of this materialism.
Lastly, selfishness causes Grandma to leave. No one in the family cares for each other. Daddy is a puppet of Mommy, and Mommy takes everything that she can. She taunts the characters like Daddy, and cannot even be bothered to remember Ms. Barker's name. Grandma does not jive well with this and gets the Young Man to kill Mommy and Daddy so she does not have to deal with it anymore.
Desire for power, materialism and selfishness cause Grandma to leave the society created by the likes of Mommy and Daddy. The American Dream's society is so unlike the old one, that Grandma leaves, and purges the household.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Open Prompt Part 1: 2003
Essay #1
Student LLLL did wrote a fine essay. LLLL used a myriad of quotes to back up his points, more than I would have remembered for the AP exam. The quotes were not just there to be quotes. They added depth to LLLL' analysis. Each paragraph had one to help LLLL's points. LLLL summarized the plot but only to get his points across. It brought some out some less-thought off analysis of The Great Gatsby. LLLL went off the beaten path. The thesis paragraph is concise and well-written, however, I would have rather have more sentences instead of one short and one long, almost run on, sentence. LLLL lays out his supporting points very clearly, just by listing the three. I like this. It makes it easier to know exactly what the writer is trying to say. Lastly, LLLL brings in evidence that supports the points not only from the text, but also from the time period.
Essay #2
The thesis paragraph has valid points, but it drags on for too long. A thesis paragraph should be concise and get to the point. The title of the play, King Lear, is not even used, except to describe the King Lear as a person. William Shakespeare is not named either. However, the thesis statement at the end is good. I have no problems with the way it was written, other than maybe it is a little wordy. The conclusion shares some of the same problems of the thesis paragraph, it is too lengthy. It should just say what it needs to say, and then stop. Also, the first paragraph has a little too much summarization in it. For someone who has not read King Lear, this is appreciated, except that I should not even be reading this analysis unless I have read King Lear. AP graders may not want as much summarization of the plot.
Essay #3
Student FF does a lot of Student C did. They both summarized the plot a little too much. The thesis paragraph is the opposite of Student C's however. It shoves the reader into a plot summarization without very much about how McMurphy is a tragic hero. It just defines tragic hero. The paragraphs do not have much semblance of arguments for the plot, it just summarizes. A majority of the paragraphs just summarize the plot and then say very little about how McMurphy is a tragic hero. The essay is saying that McMurphy is a tragic hero because others got hurt along the way, but does go beyond that. That is also the only argument. With only one support, an essay like this could have many holes. Student FF has one point tacked on the end, the part with the narrator, haphazardly. It's like the writer forgot to add on a point, but only had five minutes to add it.
Student LLLL did wrote a fine essay. LLLL used a myriad of quotes to back up his points, more than I would have remembered for the AP exam. The quotes were not just there to be quotes. They added depth to LLLL' analysis. Each paragraph had one to help LLLL's points. LLLL summarized the plot but only to get his points across. It brought some out some less-thought off analysis of The Great Gatsby. LLLL went off the beaten path. The thesis paragraph is concise and well-written, however, I would have rather have more sentences instead of one short and one long, almost run on, sentence. LLLL lays out his supporting points very clearly, just by listing the three. I like this. It makes it easier to know exactly what the writer is trying to say. Lastly, LLLL brings in evidence that supports the points not only from the text, but also from the time period.
Essay #2
The thesis paragraph has valid points, but it drags on for too long. A thesis paragraph should be concise and get to the point. The title of the play, King Lear, is not even used, except to describe the King Lear as a person. William Shakespeare is not named either. However, the thesis statement at the end is good. I have no problems with the way it was written, other than maybe it is a little wordy. The conclusion shares some of the same problems of the thesis paragraph, it is too lengthy. It should just say what it needs to say, and then stop. Also, the first paragraph has a little too much summarization in it. For someone who has not read King Lear, this is appreciated, except that I should not even be reading this analysis unless I have read King Lear. AP graders may not want as much summarization of the plot.
Essay #3
Student FF does a lot of Student C did. They both summarized the plot a little too much. The thesis paragraph is the opposite of Student C's however. It shoves the reader into a plot summarization without very much about how McMurphy is a tragic hero. It just defines tragic hero. The paragraphs do not have much semblance of arguments for the plot, it just summarizes. A majority of the paragraphs just summarize the plot and then say very little about how McMurphy is a tragic hero. The essay is saying that McMurphy is a tragic hero because others got hurt along the way, but does go beyond that. That is also the only argument. With only one support, an essay like this could have many holes. Student FF has one point tacked on the end, the part with the narrator, haphazardly. It's like the writer forgot to add on a point, but only had five minutes to add it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Hamlet Summary and Analysis
A ghost appears to some people guarding Elsinore castle. One of the people is Hamlet's friend, Horatio. Horatio goes to tell Hamlet. The man is his father, King Hamlet. King Hamlet tells his son that he was murdered by the newly-crowned king, King Hamlet's brother, Claudius. Claudius has also married King Hamlet's wife, Gertrude. Hamlet then seeks vengeance from Claudius. Hamlet begins to feign madness to help his long, drawn out plot to kill his uncle, Claudius. Claudius gets Hamlet's friends, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to spy on Hamlet. In addition, Polonius and Claudius decide to spy on Hamlet when he is speaking to Polonius's daughter, Ophelia. Hamlet flips out in his conversation with Ophelia. He tells her "Get thee to a nunnery" (131). A troupe of actors come to visit Elsinore. Hamlet gets the actors to act in a play where a usurper kills the king and marries the queen. Hamlet is using this to make sure that Claudius killed King Hamlet. He'll base his judgement off of his reaction. Claudius gets distraught and leaves halfway through the play. Hamlet then goes off to murk Claudius. However, Hamlet decides against killing Claudius because he is at prayer. While praying, Claudius admits to killing King Hamlet. Hamlet goes off to talk to his mother about all of this. Polonius is hiding in the bedroom and Hamlet hears him, so he stabs the tapestry Polonius is hiding behind, killing him. Hamlet is then sent off to England for his misdeeds. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are given direct orders from Claudius to have the king of England execute Hamlet. Ophelia "drowns" because of her father's death. Laertes catches wind of his father's and sister's death. Claudius tells him that it was all Hamlet's doing. Claudius comes up with a two part plan to kill Hamlet. Step one: have Laertes challenge Hamlet to a fencing match. Laertes will use a poisoned blade. Step two: Claudius will poison Hamlet. Hamlet is abducted by pirates and brought back. Hamlet comes back and is informed by Osric of the upcoming duel. Hamlet accepts and proceeds to the fight. Gertrude drinks from the poisoned drink. Then, Hamlet gets stabbed. Laertes gets stabbed with the poisoned sword and tells Hamlet about the king's plan. Hamlet then proceeds to stab Claudius. Hamlet dies. Fortinbras enters and orders a hero's burial for Hamlet.
Hamlet is a play about power, and the acquisition of power. The play would not have started unless Claudius had his power grab against King Hamlet. Claudius tries to change his fate by killing the king. He tries to speed up the process as to how he gets power. Hamlet is also interested in disposing of the power by killing Claudius. Hamlet also takes fate into his own hands by trying to kill Claudius. Also, having the power concentrated in Elsinore creates a very incestuous environment. The power in the castle causes characters to die from the power grabs of others.
Hamlet is a play about power, and the acquisition of power. The play would not have started unless Claudius had his power grab against King Hamlet. Claudius tries to change his fate by killing the king. He tries to speed up the process as to how he gets power. Hamlet is also interested in disposing of the power by killing Claudius. Hamlet also takes fate into his own hands by trying to kill Claudius. Also, having the power concentrated in Elsinore creates a very incestuous environment. The power in the castle causes characters to die from the power grabs of others.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Response to Course Materials 4
This month in AP Lit, we "performed" William Shakespeare's Hamlet. I was the ghost of King Hamlet which, much to my sadness, was not a spooky role. Hamlet is probably my favorite of Shakespeare's plays. I love how the various characters deal with their impending doom. The tension and hooks keep the reader/viewer interested. Personally, I like my books like I like my bananas, long and thorough.
Afterward, we watched various versions of Hamlet, like the David Tennant, the Kenneth Branaugh and the Ethan Hawke version. I was not able to watch the Olivier, because I went home sick. The Tennant version is my favorite one. The Branaugh one was too laughable. One scene in particular, the scene where the ghost visits Hamlet, caused me to laugh out loud. The scene was put together with reused b-roll. Also, the scene was very reminiscent of the R.O.U.S. scene in The Princess Bride, a comedy. It's like opening a drama with a Monty Python reference. A lot of the ambiguity of Hamlet is lost in this version. Branaugh's Hamlet is not insane, he just yells a lot. Lastly, it was missing many parts that helped the theme, and added gratuitous violence. The Hawke version was decent for what it was. It was not, however, as good as the Baz Luhrmann Romeo and Juliet. I would like to watch the full version and see what they cut.
Afterward, we watched various versions of Hamlet, like the David Tennant, the Kenneth Branaugh and the Ethan Hawke version. I was not able to watch the Olivier, because I went home sick. The Tennant version is my favorite one. The Branaugh one was too laughable. One scene in particular, the scene where the ghost visits Hamlet, caused me to laugh out loud. The scene was put together with reused b-roll. Also, the scene was very reminiscent of the R.O.U.S. scene in The Princess Bride, a comedy. It's like opening a drama with a Monty Python reference. A lot of the ambiguity of Hamlet is lost in this version. Branaugh's Hamlet is not insane, he just yells a lot. Lastly, it was missing many parts that helped the theme, and added gratuitous violence. The Hawke version was decent for what it was. It was not, however, as good as the Baz Luhrmann Romeo and Juliet. I would like to watch the full version and see what they cut.
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